The plague that ended a life-long friendship

THOUGH COUSINS Wendy and Ann were like two peas in a pod ever since they were
young schoolgirls. This close friendship lasted into their adulthood.
The two opted to do everything together: for good or evil.  They were each other's defenders
too.
"Anywhere you saw Wendy you saw me, it was just a normal thing.  She never went
anywhere without me and I never went anywhere without her that was just our thing…
Nobody dared get between us otherwise there was hell to pay," Ann joked during our
interview.
Their friendship survived the vagaries of life until the Grim Reaper struck.
"We did everything together…except die together," Ann mumbled.
This “everything” included sharing a lover.
He later died from complications of the HIV/AIDS virus.
Ann and Wendy the ‘Inseparables’ were also later diagnosed with the disease.
"I was afraid of dying and because I know people say once you get treatment you can live
longer I didn't waste time,” Ann recalled.
When Wendy finally agreed to be tested it was too late.
“I begged Wendy to come with me but she just plain didn't want to come… She made it clear
she didn't have no virus.  I went and do my test and it was positive and even though I tell
she, she maintain to the end she clean, so what I could do?" asked Ann rhetorically, cradling
her face in the palms of her hands.
It was agonising to witness, first-hand, her best friend waste away to a virtual skeleton.
"When she started getting real sick, she was still refusing to see a doctor. She was telling
people that somebody obeah she…She never stopped saying it was evil.  I think she

convinced she-self was evil and not just a disease; imagine this is a disease that it got
treatment for free of charge, not like it costs anything; everything was free, free and she
refused it. To me what she did was like committing suicide," Ann said reminiscing on her
cousin's demise.
Ann blamed stigma and discrimination for Wendy’s reluctance to seek medical treatment.
“She was so afraid of the bad talk and the bad looks that she rather die than get treatment. I
was afraid to die too…we were the total opposites when it comes to treatment…I was more
afraid of death than people talking about me and looking down on me.  And you know even
today a lot of people still don't know I got the virus; if me ain't tell you, you would never
know cause this disease is not not like long-time when people does wither away and dead
after two mornings! Is good treatment and the health workers don't be going around
talking your name, at least I never experience that and is years now I on treatment."
She continued: “The way I see it, it wasn’t really because of the disease she died, it was
really the stigma and discrimination that was the plague that kill she.”
Wendy's obstinacy didn’t ruin their life-long friendship, but Ann admitted that "it was the
hardest thing I ever had to do. I did everything for her…we talked, we laughed, we cried until
she couldn't communicate with me anymore.  It was so hard to watch her go."
"I really regret that taking the treatment was the one thing that we couldn't do
together, especially since both our lives depended on it; but she gone now and I'm still here to
replay what could've been over and over in my head," Ann lamented.
Although Ann did not share how long she has been living with HIV, she confessed that one
of the three children she has, was conceived since being infected.
"All the precautions were taken and thanks to the support of the health workers my child is
healthy and growing strong," said the happily-married survivor who said she is in "a well
tested, committed and happy relationship.”
But her happiness is sometimes interrupted by ghoulish memories.
"No matter how much happiness I have in my life, I just can't seem to get rid of the
memory of Wendy slipping away right before my eyes; it was her choice yes, but it
killed a part of me too, a part of me that I can never get back…  And it’s not all her
fault, its people like you and me who make infected people feel that they are less of a
human being and that’s not fair," Ann said in anguish.